Fear gets everyone!

Fear gets everyone!

What scares the crap out of you?  In my younger years, I was extremely afraid I would become a spinster with 100 calves (not cats, come on) that my grandpa predicted I would be.  Thankfully, I have laid that fear to rest!  Check one of the millions off the list, please!

This month I am doing Jen Schneider’s July blog challenge.  Today, I am supposed to be writing about fear which isn’t hard when you are a naturally God-fearing person like I am.  What scares me most?  The list is freaking endless.

Things I’m scared of:

I am terrified of snakes.  (However, I am all about killing them sonuvabitches! See this for details.)

I am quite afraid I may never understand Mail Chimp or the many other technologically-advanced things I’m supposed to be able to figure out as a blogger.  (Dear God, I am old.  Please grant me a tech fairy.)

Sadly, I am also concerned that I may become an old, lazy piece of crap.  You laugh, but my parents work me under the table (one I can only hope has some Bacardi on it so I can drink away my ineptitude)!   I am quite certain I have gone way soft living in the city and will not fare well in my old age if I don’t get off my ass and do more.  I will be a whole lot of Maxine (the cranky, worn-out Hallmark lady) and very little Mr. Clean (buff and tough).

Of course, I’m also scared my husband might someday realize that he’d be better off without my mood swings, roller-coaster-like drama, and inability to put him ahead of the to-do list, or even worse, he could die.  These things and the thought of losing family members pretty much put me in Scarlet O’Hara mode of “I will think of it tomorrow.”  And then I avoid, avoid, avoid.

Finally, I fear failure and not being worthy.  (No joke, just a simple truth.)

So what should I do with that?  Well, that’s a funny thing.  Fear always gets the best of me, even though people often mistake my resting bitch-face for bold and fearless.  When, in fact, fear keeps me from saying what I’m really thinking, quitting my job, or swimming in the Missouri River among other things.  So is it all bad?  Possibly not.

But in spite of fearing failure and being unworthy, I am a perfect example of it pretty much every day.  If you’ve ever seen me try to understand plug-ins, bowl, dance, make an even pie crust, or walk down the street without tripping over my feet, you clearly know that I barrel right into failure territory every day.  That being said, I feel like it is just a matter of Pandora’s Box:  as long as I still have some time, there’s still hope I can get it right…

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So, I threw my insecurities out there.  You wanna share yours?  Or do you have a little advice we all would be remiss to not take?  Break it out.  I’m listening.