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Sexy?  In January?  In the Midwest?  Say what?  You been in Colorado with that wacky weed too much?  Here we are basically a month out from Valentine’s Day, and “sexy” is a term I just don’t think applies this time of year – not to me, not to men bundled in Carharrt overalls shivering in the wind, not to girls wearing foam fingers, not to anyone.  Something about January makes everything including the trees, dirty sports cars, and pasty white girls sans sexiness.  Maybe it’s that whole theory of not shaving every day or maybe it’s the scratchy skin or the 15 layers of clothing that shows no skin.  I’m not sure, but it just doesn’t work for me.

Why am I even pondering sexy in January?  Well, I was listening to that Ashton Kutcher speech from the Teen Choice Awards where he described what sexy is.  He said sexy is being smart, being thoughtful, and being generous.  Honestly, I have to say I freaking loved his definition!!  That’s the road to redemption for me right there, baby!

As the awards season started last week, I couldn’t help but listen to the commentary about suits, dresses, hair, etc. and the funny thing was, that “sexy” is reserved for the very few.  Sophia Vergara and JLO get the label from everyone (including me), but beyond that, it’s pretty limited company.  Do Sophia and Jenny from the block stand out as smart, thoughtful, and generous in my book?  Not so much.  But are they gorgeous and perfectly fit into glamorous dresses?  Hell yeah.  Personally, I’d jump on the Carson Daly and Matt Damon bandwagon (you could leave bandwagon out of the sentence and it’d be accurate, too. Lol).  What makes them sexy?  It’s just what Ashton said.  For me, it’s just as much about their brains and humor as it is their looks for me.  Hey, I’m not lying.  What about you?  What or who is sexy?

See, there’s something about the word “sexy” that means something different to everyone.  Some people swear by George Strait and some by Snoop Dogg (seriously???).  Right Said Fred made people be too sexy for their cat which at least made me laugh, and Justin Timberlake brought sexy back which I guess is why I feel the need to discuss it, huh?  But last year’s hit about “I’m sexy and I know it” put a damper on the term for me.  I guess there are just too many people who’ve got more swag than this hag can take.  In my opinion, sexy is humble or at least not boastful.  Then again, Victoria’s Secret might disagree.  Every item in their story is marked sexy because apparently, that’s what all women are going for (and come Valentine’s Day, we all might agree). And according to studies of men, confidence is considered sexy.  (Guess that explains married girls getting hit on first at the bar. No pressure. No need to make sure the gut’s sucked in and the cleavage is hanging out.)

If we’re talking movies, I have to say Ice Man and Goose made that volleyball scene what it was meant to be.  And Johnny Castle’s hands moving Baby around?  Um, yeah.  Winner, winner, sexy dancer.  I’m sure you have your faves in that category, too.  But if we’re not talking super stars or movie characters, I guess I just don’t use the term “sexy” very often.

When I think about it, the one thing I always find sexy is a guy turning his cap backwards so he can get serious about whatever he’s about to attempt – eating wings, playing football, dancing on a float, whatever, I’m in.  (Unless it suddenly makes a really giant wart on their forehead pop out in which case I’m running for the nearest exit.  Just sayin’.)

At the end of the day, I just have a hard time pondering sexy in January.  It just doesn’t work for me, but as February approaches, I have to ask:  What or who is sexy in your book?  (I mean besides a man who unloads a dishwasher or snuggles a baby puppy.  Lol.)  Or are you with me that sexy just doesn’t exist mid-January?